Finding My Voice
Finding your voice in a place where a hundred million people call home is not an easy task.
(This was originally written on my medium page)
About two months ago now, I decided to pick up writing again.
I’ve been imagining myself writing for a couple years now. but I just never got around to do the actual writing part.
Which is so sad really.
Where could I have been?
My writing has been all over the place since I’ve started. Not just on here but on Substack and X (twitter).
I’m not one of those people that can just write about one thing for the rest of my life.
I’m no expert, I am interested in so many things, so naturally I’m going to be writing about everything at the same time. So, if I seem out of place at times.
You now know why.
I’ve been guilty of following the same sort of people online. everyone is saying the same thing over and over again. Apparently, they all make thousands of dollars each month doing the same thing.
Not talking about writing here, its what they say in their writing that bothers me.
Maybe they do make a ton of cash, and I’m the fool.
But until I see some proof, I highly doubt that they do.
Those of you that do earn a decent living, writing about what you love. I applaud you for doing just that.
What I’ve been trying to do these past two months, is to try and find my voice.
My inner voice.
I know he is there, we spend a lot of time together, so trust me. I know he has a whole lot to say.
He hasn’t been able to put his words down on a piece of paper, since his master, has kept him to himself all these years.
So, forgive me if I write about things that make no sense, or if my sentences don’t flow right.
I’m still learning, still listening, still trying to find a way for my voice to come out.
It’s not that I don’t have the confidence to bring him out, I do.
It has taken some time, so as I feel more of him coming out.
More of me is coming out to you.
For some reason I find it easier to write out a couple hundred words send them off to people I will most likely never meet in my life. Sharing things with you that I wouldn’t even dare share with my friends and family if I'm totally honest with you.
I haven't even told anyone what I've been up to over here.
Why don't I let them know?
Writing is not for the faint hearted, only a select group of people manage to turn this into a full time job.
All I want to do is write. write about what I’ve seen, heard, experienced, laughed, cried at, and so much more.
Sharing something personal to the whole world can be hard at times.
Especially for an introvert like me.
Spending too much time in my head, is not the best trait to have at times.
Especially when you are sitting across the table looking at a very beautiful woman who wants to talk to you. but isn’t quite sure if you want to talk back because you aren’t opening your mouth.
Talking to a girl that I just met and one that I like very much I might add. Is a very scary thing for me to do. But once I get the courage to open up and talk to her, I find that I want to talk to her more and more.
Key thing for me is to open my mouth, and more importantly put more than one sentence together. and maybe before she leaves, get her number for flips sake.
Maybe its not just my inner that needs to be worked on….
My follower count may not be high, my engagement rate may be very low.
I’m ok with that, to be honest.
Don’t get me wrong, I get very excited when a notification comes up saying that someone has replied to a post or comment that I made.
I’m trying to find my voice, in a big wide world, where a couple billion people live on.
About a hundred million people are on here every month by the way.
Trying to stand out, in front of such a massive group, is a very daunting task. Not many people can do this. I think I might be able to, but only if I take one step at a time, one foot in front of the other.
Once my voice has truly come out. I can only imagine all the places where he will be taking me to.
I hope you will join me on a journey that doesn’t yet have a final destination.
Finding the courage to talk to you, open up to you, may take some time. But know this.
Writing is what I want to do for the rest of my life. so, I will do all of those things, it might just take a while.
I may not make a lot of money from doing this, but maybe, just maybe. This whole journey is about something else?.
It is still waiting for me to discover its truth.
I look forward to one day reaching my destination, and I hope you will find the time to join me.
There is more than enough space, you don’t even have to buy a ticket, its all free at this point.
I might charge a fee in future, it will be a small one, just enough for me to get to the next stop.
Speaking of stops, on to the next one, what do you say?
I haven't told anyone in my life because this place is my little secret.
I would like to keep it like that for a little while longer I guess.
It might not be the best way for me to grow on here as a writer, even as a person. but for now I would like to write to you at this moment.
If you would like to follow me online, you can click on the link below to see my medium page. My medium page
This is my first time commenting on Substack. I was scrolling through but your title pulled me into your piece. From line to line, word to word it felt like the voice in my head was finally let out. The simplicity and honestly in your words took me on a self-realization journey. It felt like you pulled the words out of my head. I felt butterflies in my belly. I can't describe the happiness of reading what I could written and the sadness of not actually been the author. I hope as I subscribed today I will be able to keep up and avoid any distractions internally and externally. Thank you for this. Please keep writing.